My father, who art in Heaven........Oh how I wonder.
I wonder what it is like for him. I do not believe that we can even fathom what is to come. And yet, he is living it. Full of life.
Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely. 1Corinthians 13:12
It has been almost 10 years, since he left.
Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely. 1Corinthians 13:12
It has been almost 10 years, since he left.
For me, this has been one of the toughest years I can
remember. I have longed for his strength....for his determination. For the last
several years of his life, his body was weak, but his spirit was strong. His
will was strong.
He could re-invent himself, when needed. I remember, in my
teens, when he returned from a class he was taking (to get a better job to
support his family.) Mom and I were sitting at the kitchen table and he walked
in, so angry. He told mom that the one woman in his class was such a B*&%$#.
The shock must have shown on my face, as my jaw dropped open.
And his reply,"Sometimes, there is just no other
word!!"
(don't think I haven't used that since then)
It wasn't always perfect. Oh how we could fight. Oh he
made me so angry. I see now, that was me, being a lot like him. We would argue,
and I would get in trouble for always having to have the last word....but it
was so challenging to keep my mouth shut....even if I said 'ok' after he
was done....(just to have the last word)
I miss him keeping order. I miss it when he would assume
decision making responsibility....about my work or travel. He would say,
"Well, mom and I will discuss it and get back to you." And I would
carry on, making the decisions (because I was in my 30's.)
I miss him following me around, when I was on tour singing
and they came to visit. He wouldn't necessarily tell me he was proud of me, but
the fact that he would follow me around like a puppy, was a good
indication.
He would make order out of chaos. (usually by 'putting his
foot down')
There are days that I am oh so tired, of
knowing that his strength is no longer there to lean on. (Yes, I'm working
on that.....with Brene Brown) But.....well....everybody needs a dad
sometimes.
I wish he knew....my life. Maybe he does. I won't
know...this side of Heaven.
I'm happy, that he is no longer sick. I know that he is
finally complete. And I'm good. I have grieved and sometimes still do...in
moments like these....in remembering. Ah but it is good to remember.
So today, his birthday, I remember.....with a whole heart.
My dad.

Hugs to you Robyn on remembering this day. I remember your Dad with such great favour!! Wonderful man, human yes, but I know the choir practices in heaven will have great rehearsals with him there in his new and unbroken body. So glad you have many good memories to remember him by. much love to you- your friend Martha
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