Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Crappy Sandals

I've been studying a Bible story as of late. The death and resurrection of Lazarus.  A friend (who shall remain nameless....but she nags me to read good Christian books....like a Bible thumping freak....you know who you are), gave me a study book......a book on Lazarus.

And Ive been reading.....and i've been studying.

My heart....in the past.....has had compassion for Jesus in these moments. As I see the story unfold before me, I see a man...a human.....who has been travelling on foot to get to this chosen family, this group of His nearest and dearest.

I'm sure he is tired.
I recently walked, dragging my suitcase over the USA/ Mexican border.....felt like a long walk....but nothing compared to his walking.
His feet are dirty, the bottom of his robe is dusty, possibly torn, and blisters are raw and bloody from his non-rubber, non memory foam cushioned sandals.

He arrives just outside the city, when one sister comes out to meet him, her tears flowing freely as she  shows her devastation, her broken heart to him. "If you'd only been here......."

She knows the 'Sunday School' answer...but now...she wants hope...she longs for comfort......

And then the other sister comes out to see.....this man who was supposed to be her Saviour.  The man who was supposed to make everything right. As she stands before him, I wonder the thoughts that cycle through her mind:

Why did you let this happen?

But....but I washed your feet with my hair.....I thought you loved us.

Why didn't you come right away?

And of course, "If only you had been here Lord....."

If only You had been here Lord...........

Words that are thought in the minds of most of us in crisis.

If only You had been here Lord............

  • then my dad wouldn't have died
  • then my marriage would have lasted
  • then the cancer wouldn't have returned. 
  • then my child wouldn't have wandered away from You.

If only's that we can't resolve this side of Heaven.

And Jesus wept.

I cannot fathom to know what Jesus was thinking....but in that moment.....I wonder, if just then...this world was too overwhelming.
People he loved were broken and didn't understand his tarrying. 
His bunch of yahoo disciples couldn't get it together enough to see the bigger picture. 
And he was tired. Oh, so tired.....and misunderstood......and .....human. 
and he wept. 

And the two words in the Bible that make me see His humanness most of all, Jesus wept. 
What power to hold on to as we fight this battle on earth. 
In a world where I struggle to verbalize my feelings because I might cry, Jesus wept. 
In a world of 'staying strong,' and 'stiff upper lip'......Jesus wept. 

The strongest man in the universe....wept. 
The 'water into wine' guy.....wept. 
And as I face the future....as I feel my desires die and God's will become stronger, I weep. 
Why? Because Jesus did too. 

1 comment:

  1. so beautiful...this tear filled girl comments ♡♡♡ Thank-you


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