I've been studying a Bible story as of late. The death and resurrection of Lazarus. A friend (who shall remain nameless....but she nags me to read good Christian books....like a Bible thumping freak....you know who you are), gave me a study book......a book on Lazarus.
And Ive been reading.....and i've been studying.
My heart....in the past.....has had compassion for Jesus in these moments. As I see the story unfold before me, I see a man...a human.....who has been travelling on foot to get to this chosen family, this group of His nearest and dearest.
I'm sure he is tired.
I recently walked, dragging my suitcase over the USA/ Mexican border.....felt like a long walk....but nothing compared to his walking.
His feet are dirty, the bottom of his robe is dusty, possibly torn, and blisters are raw and bloody from his non-rubber, non memory foam cushioned sandals.
He arrives just outside the city, when one sister comes out to meet him, her tears flowing freely as she shows her devastation, her broken heart to him. "If you'd only been here......."
She knows the 'Sunday School' answer...but now...she wants hope...she longs for comfort......
And then the other sister comes out to see.....this man who was supposed to be her Saviour. The man who was supposed to make everything right. As she stands before him, I wonder the thoughts that cycle through her mind:
Why did you let this happen?
But....but I washed your feet with my hair.....I thought you loved us.
Why didn't you come right away?
And of course, "If only you had been here Lord....."
If only You had been here Lord...........
Words that are thought in the minds of most of us in crisis.
If only You had been here Lord............
- then my dad wouldn't have died
- then my marriage would have lasted
- then the cancer wouldn't have returned.
- then my child wouldn't have wandered away from You.