Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Another New Normal.

I woke up this morning.....at 7:30am. That's incredible, as I normally don't sleep well. Last night I asked my mom to pray for sleep, and God answered, and I finally slept.

Today is my one year anniversary of Cambodia. They say that the first year of marriage is the hardest, I wonder if it is the same for Cambodia.....I hope so, then I can say that I have survived.

I remember when my father died, and we needed to learn  a new normal, and I can say that living here has been learning to live a new normal again. I wonder,  if we kept track, how many new normals,  we go through in a lifetime.

I have learned this past year to live in extremes. There is no real middle ground here in Cambo, only living in extremes.....extreme sorrow, extreme joy, extreme heat, extreme humidity. Extreme circumstances, extreme death. Yesterday alone was a day that brought forth at least 7 extreme situations that needed attention. Some....literal life or death......the death of comfort....one the death of a dream...the death of trust.......and the list goes on. Extremes.

And in those moments....in the middle of the night when sleep won't come, I ask God....what He was thinking.....bringing me here....not in a snotty, 'what were you thinking????!!!!' way, but in a 'hey...tell me what you were thinking about this thing, and I'll do it,' kind of way.

Because I have never been in a job where I have not had a smooth rhythm going after a year. Because I cannot remember a time when I have not been able to find a way in difficult situations to walk through confidently, in a year.  Because I have not been in a position in a place where I lack feeling safe with people...for a year.

There is a sense however, of accomplishment....of peace.....I made it...one year.  I have learned more about myself, good and bad, in a year. I have learned more about God's love.....this year.

And this year....in the extremes.....in the vastness of deprivation that we see in a world who doesn't know God.......in a country that has been all but washed out by a genocide......the underlaying current is there. The underlaying knowledge and peace....and stability......that God will carry this through. That God is in control....that I am weak, but He is strong.  That He is God and I am not.

That nothing can separate me from His love.....and that with man nothing is possible, but with God ALL things are possible.

And that completes,
Year One.

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