Wednesday, March 06, 2013

What are We Doing Wrong

This is a question that has plagued me these last few hours....maybe days. I have been busy at the office...which is good...but I guess in reality, bad.
In the past several weeks....we have had more clients in for pregnancy tests, than I can ever remember, at one time. And for that....I am glad. I am glad that I provide a safe environment to people who need a soft place to land.
I guess....the thing that I have struggled with...that has been stirring in my soul...that seems to be tearing a ragged strip off of many of these who sit in front of me, consider themselves people of faith; people of God.

Now...please let me explain. That was not intended as a judgment statement on them...but more on us. More and more, I have women...and men sit in front of me who  tell me what faith they belong to, what church they attend regularly...what faith they were raised in....that have no qualms with sleeping with people...whether intending to marry them or not. No problems or concerns with having 'friends with benefits' or relationships with people they aren't looking to commit to in the future.

Are we not teaching about God's plan for sex? Or am I wrong in my understanding...don't answer that...I know truth. I am a single woman...and believe me....if there was a loop hole so that I wouldn't have to sleep only with a Chihuahua every night...I'd find it...but there isn't.

Secondly....when these people are sitting in front of me....more often then not...abortion is the most talked about option. Once pregnant....they don't want the shame and embarrassment  of having to share with their families or churches...and so, they would rather suffer in the silence of regret, than the shame of the immediate.

Somewhere, there is a disconnect. This doesn't mesh. If you don't think there is anything wrong with having sex outside of marriage, then why do you think there is something wrong with being single and pregnant?

I just don't get it.....  Are we as Christ's followers, not setting an example...or sharing God's truth about His plan...and then shaming people who get 'caught' as it were?

Today I counseled a Christian girl, who just found out that she is pregnant.  She has decided to abort. It almost broke my heart.  Her ride didn't show up...and in a moment of...I don't know what.....I offered to drive her where she needed to go.  And so, I cleaned out my front seat, loaded her in...and took her home. I wanted to connect with her on a human level...instead of just a counselor lady in an office. I wanted to be different....maybe be Jesus with skin a girl, who is determined to not allow this pregnancy, this affect her in any way...just to pretend like it never happened.  We joked in the car, talked a little more about the pregnancy...and her boyfriend.....her family....just shared parts of our lives in rush hour traffic. I think it seemed to help a bit. She promised me that she would let me know how she was doing...what she decided to do....

Maybe reality hits me a little bit more than most people in their jobs....the struggle of life...sometimes, quite literally. There are days when I would like to have a job, that didn't hinge so much on the brokenness of this world. And yet....would I be satisfied.....just folding sweaters?


  1. Robyn - you're asking many of the same questions I've been asking too, and having a 25 YO son who grew up in the church and now isn't a part of that makes me keep being concerned.

    The one thing I have to say about those who turn up pregnant is that they were probably the ones who would be 'good'. They didn't plan to sleep with their BF, didn't intentionally sin, but just got carried away and suddenly found they'd made a baby. Of the 3 couples that were all together when Chris & I were engaged, we were the only ones not to completely give in - but it could have been so easy and then suddenly, we'd have been in that place too.

    But I really appreciate what you do, and not just that, but your determination for personal purity too. You're a good woman, Robyn.


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  5. One of my best friends is one of 'these people'. She professes to be a Christian, a believer, to believe that the Bible is the Word of God, but she is in a relationship with a non-Christian man because - as she said - she was 'getting older' and 'possibly running out of time'. I feel like I can't really say anything to address this, because I've never been alone - sometimes I feel like maybe my married life with two kids is causing her to feel pressure to do the same, and it hurts that I feel so helpless to help her. She has no qualms with sleeping with this man, either.
    I was at a Christian Women's conference this past weekend, and we did this exercise that had all of the women anonymously write out their sins on a piece of cardboard that someone else later read aloud. More than 50% of the women in the group had confessed to some sort of sexual sin (including me)... our world is full of it, and I guess we have decided that instead of fighting it together, we will just make it ok... Sorry to rant...


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