Thursday, June 23, 2011

5 Years

5 years.
5 years ago tonight, I sat in my apartment, eating take out food brought to me by a friend. 5 years ago tonight, I had been awake for 36 hours. Late the night before, my mom had called me and told me dad wasn't breathing very well...could I come. I went.
After being unable to wake him ourselves...we called for an ambulance and some medical help...wouldn't you know that's when he chose to wake up....bless his heart. And so I spent the next 34 hours at the hospital...or running back to his place to get some of his necessities.
A trip to the hospital to get his strength up, our plan was to bring him home again.
But....he didn't come home.
5 years ago tomorrow.....I held his hand, and helped to usher him into Heaven....the Promise Land.

I loved my father, he wasn't perfect, our relationship wasn't always easy...but, we ended well. He was raised to believe that to be a good father, you had to provide well for your family, and so he worked hard, and he worked a lot. Sometimes I resented it...thinking he missed out on too many things in my life.
Recently a friend of mine was planning a trip to Southern Ontario, where I was raised. For several hours, we talked about things to do, things to see, things to experience....and over and over again, the words repeatedly tumbled out of my mouth...."Oh my dad took me there."..."I saw that with my dad." And the memories resurfaced like fragments of stained glass, that when pieced together, made a beautiful picture.
And I appreciated. And I cherished. And I am thankful.
People get sick, people die...and life goes on......and we go on...and yet sometimes, it's good to remember.
5 years.

2 comments:

  1. Oh yes, it's so good to remember. 5 years ago is when you and I "met" and connected for the first time. And in your brokenness and grief you gave me strength and inspiration. For that I am so thankful...to your dad. XOXO

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  2. I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes. My dad, too, worked very hard to support our family, as did our mom, but not outside the home. The difference is my dad took part in our lives as he was able to. But still, I hear how we forget the good times and focus on the bad. Remembering IS good. I'm so glad for the time I spent with my Dad, and it makes me happy to know you can look back and be glad of the time spent with yours.

    - Laurie L

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