Tuesday, November 09, 2010

You're so Callous

Here I sit, at my desk, watching the snow fall outside. And once again, I am drawn to the prayer I pray every year at this time....."Lord, I will do what you want me to do, I will go where you want me to go.....but can we make it a warm place?"
And again, I digress........
Recently, I have begun once again, to play the guitar. I started almost five years ago, but because of the changes of life, I put it down. And now, here I am again, playing.
The thing about playing the guitar is this......your little fingers have to build up callous.' Until you do, after about two minutes of playing and holding down those tiny cutting strings, you fingers are screaming in pain. And so.....a guitarist has to go about building up callous' on those fingers. Callous' decrease the pain and allow you to continue in your song.
The down side to these tough little skin patches, is that you lose sensitivity in them....so when you use them, to type, or wipe something out of your eye, or pick something up, it feels funny, or weird.....it just doesn't feel right, somewhat ineffective.
I got to thinking last night, about the whole thing. Callous.' For many years, I had them on my heart. It covered the pain and allowed me to live and work and cope. But this past year has been a year of callous removal, and God, with His intricate ways, has done so.
Looking back, I see how these tough pieces on my heart, in my spirit made me somewhat ineffective in my life, in my different roles, and in my ability to be vulnerable for and to God.
We think of them as protection, but I wonder how much it hinders us, when we allow these to build up within us.....due to pain, or anger or past abuses.
I am thankful for the work that God has done in my life. He who began a good work in me....is carrying it on to completion until it is done. For I am His workmanship created in Him to do good works......without the callous,' without the limitations of the past....and everytime I play my guitar, and feel the callous' on my fingers, I am reminded of this.

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