Wednesday, September 22, 2010

I Give Up

With a peace in my heart, I pen these words. I give up. They have been floating around in my heart for a while, but I needed to take my time in owning them, speaking them.
I give up.....my will, and replace it with God's will for my life.
I give up.....thinking that my plan is better than God's plan.
I give up.....thinking that life would be complete with a man of God by my side.
I give up.....thinking that the grass is greener......
I give up.....blaming others, and their lack of accountability. I am responsible to God for who I am and what I do.
I give up....
Please understand it is not without pain and loss that I give up. I do not know what the future holds, and I mourn the loss of my earthly desires. But with an ache in my heart, and a lump in my throat, I will move forward, choosing to be obedient. And I will choose to be obedient one day at a time, hoping that it will eventually get easier. And I choose to be obedient with the hope that God will bless my obedience with what He thinks is best.
And so.....I give up.

2 comments:

  1. Robyn.... just want to give you a hug through cyber space..I think this is what it means to die to self, to pick up your cross daily... we are all called to do that... I think God has a a special purpose for the ones He brings to this point....I hope you find excitement in the fact that the plans He has for you are marvelous and beyond compare.. I am walking along a similar path and one day it is exhilarating to surrender everything and the next it seems impossible and it breaks my heart, again. But, God is so much bigger than all of this ... feel His presence and His blessing... He rejoices over you with singing!!!!!

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  2. That's great Robyn. Just don't be too surprised if somewhere down the line you find that you've actually stopped giving up, and instead have re-acquired some of those things.

    There used to be an expression round this way: "settle the issue". That's fine, but issues are not 'settled' and things don't go away. We just need to die every day, rather than once and then just simply walk away from the things that would hold us back. But it's good to give up this stuff when we realise we're holding on to it.

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