Monday, August 02, 2010

Unfinished Business

A little disturbed this morning.
Last night I dreamt that I died. I knew I was sick, and when it came to the end, I just wanted to die......I remember not being able to wake up, and listened to my friend Jackie explain to people that it was almost near the end........she is a nurse.
And so, my heart was failing, and I slowly stopped breathing....and I can remember thinking....."Okay Jesus, here I come"....a bit of uncertainty, and an overwhelming excitement filled me, as beams of blue light started to come towards me......it seemed so real.
And I was about to meet my King.
Then I woke up. I lay here in the dark, not understanding what just happened. A little confused. Feeling a little bit like I had unfinished business. The clock glowed 3:30am.
I carried that through the night. Not understanding the message, if there was one. Not until later, when I called Nurse Jackie, (who is also my spiritual mentor)
"It's the dying of yourself," she said. And she may be on to something. I feel like this season of my life is changing, as I have said in previous posts. Again I need to learn to let go, to die to self, to live in what God has for me.As I move towards a new season, I feel as though there are things I need to finish here, before I can move on with integrity.
And so, "I press on towards the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."  Phil 4:13

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