Monday, December 01, 2008

Banished to the basement

I've been banished to my abode in the basement tonight.
This past week, as my brother has been in the hospital, fighting to regain normal, or find a new normal, I have been running around, doing everything I can possibly think of to help. Maybe to control. I 've tried to remain positive, caring, doting, and yet the exhaustion is setting in, or in reality, set in a few days ago.
I dont know why I get this way. I just need to 'DO'. Because I cant control the outcome of my brother's surgery, I will fix whatever I can.
I was able to release yesterday a bit...to really cry....for the situation, for the tiredness, for the new normal. Unfortunately this wonderful emotional break took place on the stage of our church as I was to be singing on the worship team. I even snorted twice, I was crying so hard. Ever the professional, I did pull the mic away from my face, so only those near the front were able to hear.....quite a look I got from the guitarist.
And so, I 've been sent to my 'room' to rest and not do anything. It is driving me crazy. I've been so busy that it is hard to slow down.
Ruby is in her glory, as she has been ignored as of late, so here she is curled up on my lap, snoring.

I think I'll go make cookies.

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