Saturday, October 22, 2005

Playland

I ventured this week, to somewhere I have never been before. McDonalds Playland. Two words that SHOULD strike fear in the hearts of single adults everywhere.
I was caring for a friends daughter...she is four...and she tawks wike dis. She is quite a cutey.
....And bless her heart, as I dragged her around running errands all day, she did not complain, she did not beg, she did not pout. She just said great things like, "Wobyn, yowa good mom," and, "mom....I mean Wobyn, I wuv you."
And so, behaviours like this warrant rewards.
"To McDonalds we go!!" I yell in the car, "And it has a playland!!" I hear cheers in the back, and I think smugly, that I have this parenting thing down. I have mastered what some struggle their whole life to accomplish. I AM WOMAN....OR WOW-MAN.
So we order our meal, but little eyes keep darting to the playland behind me. "I'm not weawy hungry, Wobyn. I want to pway."
After I convince a few more bites of chicken nuggets, we venture into the glassed wonderland.
AND THEN..........................
THE NOISE, OH THE NOISE. It's like nothing I have ever experienced. I have no basis for comparison. The screaming and yelling. Nobody uses their inside voices at all!!
She runs ahead, and I find a table in the back, behind the other moms. Apparently you have to come early to get a good seat in the front. Also, you should not sit at a table under the jungle gym due to a peeing incident from the past. You just want to be careful.
So here are kids running and screaming and shouting, crying, and fighting.....and it hits me....THIS IS A SINGLES BAR FOR TODDLERS.
A bunch of toddlers running around, drunk on McDonalds, and high on sugar.....marking their territory.....and I shudder. I am taken back to a time in my life when I graced the presence of a bar or two, and it is the same experience.
All of a sudden.....an argument ensues in front of me. I shrink back in terror....one mother just offended a "child care worker" by calling her a babysitter.
I hold tightly onto my coffee, and try not to be noticed. I avoid eye contact, and pray for deliverance.
......and then it comes......."Wobyn, I'm vewy hot and need an ice cweam." And off we go.

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