Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Who Am I?

I just wrote an entire blog about how I am frustrated because I feel like there are some people who dont like me, for who I am, and havent taken the time to really get to know me......and then I erased it.
I erased it because, the more I wrote, the more I tried to justify that I am a nice person...and the more I did that, the more insecure I felt....
...and then I remembered Psalm 139. About ten years ago, I memorized it, and it has stuck with me.

Oh, Lord you have searched me. You know when I sit and when I rise, you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down, you are familiar with all my ways. Before word is on my tongue you know it completely Oh, Lord.
You hem me in behind and before, you have laid your hand upon me. Such knowledge is wonderful for me, to lofty for me to attain.
Where can I go from your spirit, where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens or make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of dawn or settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say 'Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me' even darkness is not dark to you; for night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.
For you created my innermost being. You knit me together in my mothers womb. I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you. When I was made in a secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me, were written in your book before one of them came to be.
How precious to me are your thoughts oh God, how vast the sum of them. Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I am awake I am still with you.

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