Sunday, October 17, 2004

There are times in my life when I truly want to just scream and rip apart a something....maybe throw something, just release. I am so frustrated, I need to get rid of this anger, this truly pissy mood.
I don't know why I am so pissy, other than the stress I feel, the weight on my shoulders, and the expectations that everyone has placed upon me.
I bought a car yesterday. I have never owned a car and to be truthful, I haven't even really driven on a regular basis for 15 years. People have always questioned me and encouraged to get a car, and to be honest, I haven't really wanted one. I finely got one, because to get to my new job, I will need one. I will need to get to work. And so, I bit the bullet, and got a car.....and I have never felt more inadequate or out of my comfort zone in all my life.
So I haven't driven consistently in 15 years and the last place I drove in was a town with a stop light, and a one way street....definitely smaller than where I live now. ....and this morning I woke up with snow everywhere.
So I cleaned off the car with a towel and a club card, because realistically, when one doesn't have a car, one doesn't need a scraper.
And my question is....doesn't everyone realize the huge responsibility it is to drive a car....the ability to make an error in judgment and create an accident....or be the victim of one?
I don't know how I will ever get comfortable with what I have to do........I guess we will see.

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