Saturday, October 02, 2004

Courageous or Stupid

So I decided to save some money. And in saving money, I decided to take the bus home for the weekend, instead of a plane. As I stood in line waiting to get on the bus at 12:00 am, I decided I was really stupid. As I looked at the diverse crowd around me, I wished I had taken a flight.
But alas, I was already there, the ticket paid for, and so I began my journey home. I got on the bus, that was already full, and decided to sit in the front with some guy. I noticed a woman, with two small children, and a man in a wheel chair, approach the bus. She came up the stairs and asked if we could move, because she couldn't carry her son down the aisle, so we smiled and moved. I ended up with a little old French lady, with a good sense of humor.
So I deduced that these three children belonged to the woman. I watched as she picked her adult son up, over her shoulder, without any help from the bus drivers standing around, wanting to help. With a fireman's carry, she lifted him up the stairs and placed him, in the front seat. Beside him, she made a bed for the four year old, while another passenger held her baby. She then proceed to walk down the aisle looking for a place for herself. The woman behind me called to her, and let her sit in tow.
The woman, once again touched my arm and thanked me so much for moving. I thought, this woman, has not been dealt an easy life, and yet, she was loving to all her children, and was so thankful for the little I did to make her life easier.
I sat there, silenced thinking of all I should be thankful for, and usually took for granted. In the silence, I listened to the conversation behind me.
The woman was moving her children on the bus from Grand Prairie to Swift Current. .....a long journey to begin with, let alone the added pressure of three dependents.
She started to share her life story, where she had been, where she had come from, where she was planning on going, and the fact that she also had grown children living somewhere.. The more I listened the less inspired I was by her. The more I listened, the more I realized that one bad decision at the beginning of her life, had snowballed, and become two, then three bad decisions. Her life was where it was, because of her consistent bad choices.
And I didn't feel so inspired anymore. I felt sorry, because those children have a mother who thinks of her needs first, and accommodates her children's needs in the process. She was stupid, because never looking at the big picture, she lost sight of the most important details....those lives for whom she was responsible for.
I pray that God will always show me the big picture, as hard as it might be.

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