Tuesday, September 28, 2004

People Skills

I have always said that I could teach anyone social skills, or people skills...but I am finding out that I might have been wrong.
I recently met someone who tries very hard to have good social skills, and positive people skills...but tends to crash and burn...consistently. He wants to be liked, he is an environment where everyone around him has these attributes, but he lacks them. Those who are around him, are funny, and positive and they can motivate, but he gets defensive and angry at situations, and brings people down. You can feel the mood when he is upset....it radiates around him. He tells a joke, and if people laugh, he keeps bringing it up, he won't let it die....for days, and days.
And I feel bad....because this is an area in which I excel. I am good with people, I am good at training and coaching and motivating, but there are things where I lack. I cant do science. I dont have a college education. I struggle with many areas....but they tend to be in the back ground......and my personality usually is able to make up for my short comings.
So my question is, how do you teach someone people skills? How do you let them know, its okay, and to just be themselves and not hurt their feelings....when they wont listen anyway, because their defense mechanism is to walk away and shut down, and yeah.
I want to help.....but I guess, I can't. I guess you can't teach people skills.

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