Saturday, July 17, 2004

Fireworks
 
 
    tonight, once again I went to the Taste of Saskatchewan, and tonite, once again, I ate, and ate, and ate. I went with some of my friends, and new acquaintances and even a sibling. As the evening progressed I once, again, found myself surrounded by couples.  This whole freak'in world is all about couples.  Now I can say that I did have a really good time. I enjoyed myself, and was entertained by the group, and even added to the entertainment.
   There were fireworks tonight, and they were probably the best fireworks I have ever seen (and I've been to Disneyland.) And as the couples stood around watching, once again I stood alone.  And I wondered...will I always stand alone?
 Now at this point you may be thinking, boy  this "single" thing seems to come up a lot in this girls blogging..."Me things the woman doth protest too much."  I often say, that I am okay with being single, and I think that I am...I just wonder...will this be it for me?
   A few years ago, I was pretty, young and had no trouble getting a date. I would always go to the yearly fireworks with someone...on a date, with a boyfriend, whatever.  Now, I go with friends....or stay home. When I made the choice to put God first, things changed.  When I decided to stop dating non-Christians......I stopped dating. Why is that? What is the reasoning? Why do other girls find Christian men, and yet I am left  at the fireworks standing to the side, by myself.
 I can stand by myself. I can put furniture together, I can kill bugs, I can do what I need to do to get the job done. It doesn't mean I want to. And....God, in His wisdom, if He knew I would be alone for the rest of my days....can't He change my heart? Or will the longing always be there?  I guess we will have to wait and see.......again...

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