Thursday, June 03, 2004

The Past

Yesterday I spent a good part of the day in the past. It was an event.
I got a phone call from my mother inviting me to go and visit the graves of my grandparents. I accepted. So off we went, my parents, a great aunt (my dad's aunt, not a GREAT aunt...although she's not bad)
Apparently there was trouble with Grama's grave, and the keeper of the plots had called. So we went, and we saw, and we cried, and we solved the problem. After that my father, had a sense of nostalgia, and we drove around several gravel roads, looking at fields. "Penners lived there, and Dycks lived there." and so on, and so on. (All I saw were fields)
We drove past small cement stones that represented the schools he attended. We drove past the field where he broke his knee. (I am surprised they didn't shoot him, lame and all) Then he came to a gravel road which led him to his grandfathers homestead. My aunt too had lived there after she got married. So we drove the road, then turned around and drove it again, looking for a shed.....and we finally found it. We drove into a clearing and looked around. What was left of their history, their heritage. There was a piece of cement where the house used to be, and we found the cistern. It was about 5' deep, filled with junk. Well, one man's junk is my mother's treasure, so......
She saw some very old glass bottles and basins in there, and she wanted them. And I wanted to have a mother at the end of the day, so I being the only one under 62 climbed down into this pit of junk to collect these priceless artifacts. All the while I could hear my father yelling from the car "THERE ARE LIZARDS IN THERE!!!!" Gotta love family. And so was the day in history.
We later went to my grandparents house to pick up some boxes, it was the first time I have been there since they have both been gone. And I was fine, totally fine, until.....
I went to the bathroom, closed the door only to find grama's favorite nightie still hanging on the door, like she was coming back, but she is not. So I sat there and cried. Because I miss them, because it's not fair, and because I would rather be with them, then left here to deal with the grief. I am tired of this life. I need a rest.

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