Sunday, May 16, 2004

The Talk.

I read Jay's blog tonite, and it was kinda amusing when he had "the talk" with his dad...about his "intentions" with Angie. I chuckled. I wonder what I will wear to the wedding...maybe I should start picking out some songs.........
My mother is convinced that I need to have a "talk."
My grandfather was hospitalized again in the wee hours of the morning, and grief strikes me once again. My mom thinks that I should tell my grampa how I am feeling, how much this is affecting me, how I am not ready for him to die.....and yet....when I am with him, unless I keep the conversation light, the over-powering lump in my throat prevents me from even speaking a word. I sit there in silence blinking as fast as it takes to stop the tears. How to you tell someone that you would rather they don't die right now, cas you are not prepared. And, how do you have said conversation with a man who is hard of hearing...bless his heart. I can just see myself a blubbering idiot, yelling at him in his hosptial bed, telling him not to go yet....not such a compelling picture,hey? Ah, yes, at least I can see the humor in me standing there sharing my deepest feelings...at the top of my lungs.
Well I will ponder it. Try, and sleep on it. Maybe even say a prayer about it.

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