Friday, February 13, 2004

Tips for a Shoplifter.

Hey if you decided to shoplift, here are a few helpful hints.
1. If you are watching the sales associate in front of you, to make sure she isn't looking at you, there may be one behind you,(like me) watching you stuff the necklace up your sleeve.
2. Try not to look suspicious. Don't keep looking at the cashier, then the clothes, then the cashier, then the clothes.
3. When you are approached and I ask for the merchandise back, don't say "Oh, I was just gonna put it on the counter," when you are already half way out of the store.
4. When you are caught and your friends are uncomfortably guffawing beside you, don't stay and pretend to shop, like you never intended to steal...just get out.
5. Once you leave the store, and see me following you, hiding behind mall directories, pointing at you with the security guards....cut your losses.....get out of the mall.
6. And lastly, dont have a freaky hair style and colour, so I can pick you out in any crowd....that's a big one.

Welcome to winter break! Schools out!

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